HARDLY AND FRANKLY

“My silence, an accusation. His, a confession.”

An ex-teen super-sleuth “solves” mysteries with the business end of a knife. An installment-based short story. Learn the rules of teen super-sleuthing!

Rule #1: Never listen to the police. 

Rule #2 You don’t find mysteries – they find you.

Rule #3: Never use a gun – it just makes things worse.

Rule #4: Confront your prime suspect on his territory or at the scene of the crime. Avoid neutral ground.

Rule #5: Learn how to drive every vehicle possible, from cars to motorcycles to small planes.

Rule #6: Try to tell the truth as much as possible. One of the main differences between a normal teen and a teen super-sleuth is that adults will actually listen to you. Don’t squander this by being the teen super-sleuth who cried wolf.

Rule #7: No romantic relationships that last longer than one case.

Rule #8: Let no case go unsolved. You’re not a true teen super-sleuth unless you have a 100% success rate.

Rule #9: Remember that there’s no such thing as a smart criminal. If they were smart, they wouldn’t be a criminal.

Rule #10: Ghosts aren’t real. Monsters aren’t real. Magic isn’t real. There’s always a logical explanation (usually involving a latex mask).

Rule #11: A teen super-sleuth should not panic when danger looms, rather, they should face the danger with a pure heart and a clear mind.

Rule #12: Teen super-sleuths don’t take vacations. They just solve mysteries in exotic locations.

Rule #13: Never take money for solving a mystery. The only compensation a teen super-sleuth needs is the satisfaction of a job well done.

Rule #14: Be wary of solo acts. The best teen super-sleuths are either partners or trios.

Rule #15: You should be able to blend in anywhere. Knowing which spoon is the soup spoon is just as important to being a teen super-sleuth as knowing how to hold your own in a fight or how to lose a tail.

Rule #16: Teen super-sleuths are all vaguely Christian, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

Rule #17: Train yourself to be a light sleeper. Inevitably, your home or hotel room will be broken into while you’re sleeping. You don’t want to be caught off guard.

A new rule every week, usually around Thursday. (on hiatus)